I'm searching for something...

I'm searching for something... // -->

Friday, July 29

Our Earth

Ha. you know i really would like to just view some kind of space motion clips, maybe about the earth rotating slowly that kinda video clips. think it will be darn cool, so wonderful and marvelous to see things in such a big perspective. so awesome haha. think it will be darn relaxing as well. need that now haha.

somethings when tried to hard, you fail. it's not about trying hard always for everything. it's not always about effort that i know. it's about believing perhaps. keep reminding myself these days that... "either i make it, or break it."

Helpline needed. anyone?

I'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in you

Heli Dont ask me why 12:12 AM

Wednesday, July 27

Hectic hectic. how hectic can this week be. With all these ongoing talks by the teachers and principals, i think they've just succeeded in terrorizing me in a way. I felt screwed sometimes, just couldn't get my engine moving. It seems that i'm lack of something.. just lack of that motivation. can't fly.. urgghh. =/

so many things to deal with this week. gotta keep on rolling, keep on moving.

we can succeed.
we will succeed.
we must succeed.

Heli Dont ask me why 10:21 PM

Thursday, July 21

today i really spent a little time trying to face myself and sorting out some thoughts. I was angry, i was hurt, was disappointed, i was tired, was feeling so teared apart for the past few days. There were so many issues coming forth to me, and i couldn't just push them away for these are things that concerns me, and concerns people whom i care. perhaps yes some of you whom you know what i'm mentioning will start thinking hypocrite and what not and whatever. but if that's the "me" you all have know all these while, then it's very sad. But nevermind, certain things you keep harping on it, in the end it doesn't turns back right, and it just gets worse.

I just am angry still i know. With somethings, with some people. I just find it hard to find peace, but i'll find it.

Wednesday, July 20
you know how sometimes words can hurt someone's heart so much.
thinking back on somethings you've done that people don't appreciate or don't get it anymore.
you got a little angry how plights can be so bad when some idiot just want to spoil it all.
you just feel like scolding that person all that you can think of because it's so damn it.

and you know how somethings can always be in such awkward situation when you cant move a step in front or back.
then sometimes the rain can hit you so hard on the face you just so much wish it could stop immediately.
perhaps you even wanted someone to offer you a cup of hot tea and comfort you a little.
and then you look to the sky and wonder if its all these you deserve.

Heli Dont ask me why 7:37 PM

Tuesday, July 19

The Grey Cloud Day

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead.
How long more these clouds will stay.
They have been here long enough, why doesn't it just go away?

It's hard being noble when you're not noble at all.
It's hard feeling alright when you're not alright at all.
It's tiring trying to be happy when actually happy is not something that we should try.

And i try hard to keep it, keep it in. Things just got worse. =(

grey clouds just go away...

Heli Dont ask me why 8:58 PM

Thursday, July 14

Sometimes there's only this much i want to say here.

and that is...

wo yao jia you.

Heli Dont ask me why 8:02 PM

Monday, July 11

my first off road. :)

Haha decided to go off road with xin today despite the rain on the way. I'm glad we went ahead though because there wasn't any rain there. But the tracks were all flooded and while i was riding i recalled all the hydrocycle stuffs lols. Darn bumpy, darn steep, darn wet, and extremely cool and tired was all i can say la. Was really exhausted at times and haha wondered when the track is going to end.

But i've learnt a lot really. learnt more than just riding alone. =)

and dear yixin: gai shuo le dou shuo le. haha you finally brought me to off road. and yup truly enjoyed it really. haha i really got nothing more to say all sms you already. finally i made up my mind to go also haha. yup. xie xie ni.

and hah results aint good. i think i will just get triple Os. =/

Heli Dont ask me why 9:45 PM

Sunday, July 10

Attitude.
I'm suppose to feel glad about it, but apparently i don't wish to. it makes me feel hypocrite, makes me feel that the whole thing is so unjust. i just prayed for a bigger heart, to make space for all these, to accept comes what may.

but yet at the end of the day, you can only see me sitting helplessly on the floor with no more tears to shed. nothing more to say.

Heli Dont ask me why 7:23 PM

Friday, July 8

what do you mean by that.
sometimes baby steps are what we need to learn badly in life. Putting unrelated issues altogether and try to digest it all is going to be hard. trying to accept more when more things are added is worst and you just can't take it all.

didn't mean anything to happen. didn't want anything to happen at all.

='(

it just keeps coming and coming... and i wish it just stop pouring on me.

Heli Dont ask me why 10:10 PM

Wednesday, July 6

Four Hundred and Fourteenth Entry.
Had a little bit of fun after papers ended on friday and, yeah school starts tomorrow. Then everything is going to start all over again. you know, i don't really want A's to come. because after this year, everything in my life would be different i guess. no more school u days. i guess it's really the last year you can stay immature, be a little ren xing. but of course, hah A's is so dreadful just cant wait for it be over and free! haha. contradicts hor. =P

hah. i'm tired. of running in circles. don't know where i'm going. don't know what i want.

Heli Dont ask me why 9:04 PM

Sunday, July 3

disappointed is the word. =(

*look down and walk away from the light.

Heli Dont ask me why 11:17 PM

Saturday, July 2

Weee!

weee one for exams over!
weee two for watching war of the worlds and intial D!
weee three for going out with wenjie and kor today!
woo hooooo~

anyway today was great! had free movie and sakae sushi treat eh! xie mu ba ni mennnn. haha then we took loads of picture at a playground and chit chat after that la. i like to be in such environment leh and doing simple things. just talking you know, talking about anything and suaning each other and yup. haha..

to both of you!: wei hehe although hor i don't really express much of my feelings through my expressions and words eh, but deep down in me really very happy to go out with both of you. those suaning parts, laughters, heh so fun and enjoyable really. heh hope to have more of such days! ai si ni men le! .m.u.a.c.k.s.

Heli Dont ask me why 11:42 PM

Personal